This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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