Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
