just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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