he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
