I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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