She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
