K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
