so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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