Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
