is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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