why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
