I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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