she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
