She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
