I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
this will be a night to untag.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
