What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
