i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
