arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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