I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
