Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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