just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
