Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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