Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
