got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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