I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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