i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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