New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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