i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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