hotel room ftw
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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