I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
