I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
