once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
