Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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