so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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