What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
