can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
