i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
