I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
