I'm really into asian looking animals
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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