you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
