Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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