wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
handjob tips. give me some.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
