How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
