hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
