TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
