So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
