I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
