I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
