Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
