so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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