You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
